ang blog ng isang engot

our minds really do have strange ways of perceiving time. i have been seven months away from home, and on the second night of my vacation there, the past months felt more like a dream. It was as if i have not been gone a long time (though some do consider seven months a short time.. whatever!) and now that my eleven-day vacation is over, it does not feel as if i’m coming back to a life i have lived in for seven months.. the ride back actually felt like i was forcing myself back into a dream i no longer want to see. in some ways, coming back was much harder than the first time i came here to work. and now, after days of being back, my vacation is at last becoming part of this long dream.. and i guess, the dream will go on.. it must go on.

note:
i don’t regret my decision to work here in Makati City. over and over again, i would make the same decisions. i like it here; it really is nice living here. it’s just that, being alone, it could really get lonely sometimes…

January 5, 2009 was the day I had to get back to Makati City. It was the day I had to leave Davao City again and get back to work. Any normal people would have spent that day enjoying themselves, and spending time with the people they are surely going to miss. But I had some  businesses to attend to.

That day was quite busy for me. I had to go to five places that day before going to the airport to catch my plane ride. What was so special about those places that I had to do them in Davao? Well…

Destination 1: Social Security System (SSS)

You know how important it is to get those “primary ID”s.. Well, having none of those so far, I decided to get an SSS Photo ID. I requested it in Davao because I was told that in Manila, only SSS QC issues those IDs and I do not know how to go there from Makati.. Anyway, the process was easy but the number of people there made it quite taxing.

The steps?

1. get E6 form from “window” 2.

2. submit filled-up E6 to “window 5″.

3. wait for your name to be called; if you qualify for an ID, a number will be given to you. (I have no idea what the qualifications are…)

4. wait for your number to be called, smile for the picture-taking, have your fingerprints and signature scanned, and key in your desired PIN.

Some reminders: There were some necessary proof of identification, but bringing your birth certificate (even the old, tattered ones) is enough (and I guess bringing along some ID is not difficult). And BRING YOUR OWN BLACK BALLPEN!

Destination 2: Landbank Bajada

I am not really sure why, but a letter was received at home around August last year requiring me to “update” my Landbank account (the one I had as a DOST-scholar). Sadly, the letter somehow got lost over the months. When I got to the bank, I was told of certain necessary documents, which I was not able to procure beforehand, making it not possible for me to “update” my account that day. Lesson learned: keep letters, especially those that contain information such as the documents necessary to be brought along.

Destination 3: ComElec Davao City

Well.. Since I was not able to register for the previous election, I decided to have myself registered last Jan. 5. I have noting much to say except that I did not like the people at the ComElec 1st District Davao City. And, no, I was not able to register for the 2010 elections. So sad… (what is more sad is that the voter’s ID  is one of those “primary ID”s)

Destination 4: Civil Service Commision XI

Just went there to get the certification I applied for last May. Although this was already available last May, my flight schedule prevented me from making the necessary personal appearance. Thus, I only got it last Jan. 5. Hoohoo!! I’m now Civil Service Certified! (Though I am not actually sure if it matters much, with me bonded to the private sector until around end of 2010…)

Destination 5: Fuller Life! a.k.a. Sara Lee

Hahaha..^^ Just went there to get some perfumes..

It’s depressing that I had to get back to work.. But have you ever noticed that life somehow tries to balance all those negatives by giving you those simple joys.. I don’t mean those life-changing moments that one could treasure forever; that is a bit too much.. For instance, those short chance encounters with people from your past that gets your mind off of those sad thoughts. Where did it happen to me on that day?

Destination 6: Davao City International Airport

Ever ran out of things to do? Or perhaps, ever ran out of things that you want to do? Or even worse, are there things that you do want to do, it’s just that you no longer want to do them because you somehow got tired of them?

I am currently bored of the things that I want to do. And I am running out of alternatives.

For a while, I enjoyed trying different foods. Now, I only eat because I need to eat, and sometimes, not even that is enough.

Reading books.. The past few months have been quite the golden age for my reading. I have explored a lot of writers, and I tried to broaden my choices with regards to printed materials. Now, I cannot even finish the books I’m currently reading. (Yup, books. I am currently simultaneously trying to finish reading two books. What’s more, they are both the fourth books of their corresponding series. Hah!)

Using Economics jargon, my marginal utility is dropping. In short, the more I do a certain activity, the more that my happiness for that activity decreases (hmmm.. it’s actually longer..). And it not only involves eating or reading. It actually involves my whole life.

If I were to guess at what’s happening, I would say that it’s as if I’m trying to fill a void in my life and, well, it’s not working.

A lot of people are searching for and chasing after the “more” to life; I’m still trying to look for a life.

And I don’t know where to start.